It was approaching midnight, and being in a place called The Glass Slipper, I found myself hoping that quite a few of the people surrounding me would turn into vine-borne vegetables. This thought was especially focused on the table of fat louts starboard screaming for "wet knockers". Hey, I didn't want to sell insurance, I wanted to write about rock and roll. If it meant diving into dark strip clubs to get the story, this princess could take off her tiara for 15 minutes to get the scoop on the Dorchester duo's latest baby.

Due for release in the next month (cross your fingers), the full-length record will be their fifth proper session. Its specifications were hardly forthcoming from its creators. Again, it's a homegrown effort, recorded in the same space as the last, currently under the name The Rafters. The lineup is still stable and still a binary 4-piece: Pushkin-Buzzshackler (vocals, guitar, bass, drums) and O.G. (vocals, guitar, bass, drums).

Alas, such are the travails of the profession and I had agreed to meet the Windowless Masturbation Cells on their own terms with full disclosure of the planned festivities. But, at nine bucks a Bud, this thing had to wrap up quickly. I began peppering Mssrs. B_____. and G_____. about their latest studio project. What follows is an excerpted reverse-quotation boolean interview:

Do you enjoy fresh kielbasa?
PB: Yes.

Has the jukebox been cranked in its new location yet?
OG: No.

Do you find port to have a syrupy viscosity?
PB: Yes.

About the record, is it a little bit of everything: pop, experimental? Could it be a sleeper? Would you call it an OG record?
PB: Yes. Yes. Yes.

Are there any songs about driving 10 minutes to drink in Northampton townie bars with dead-end MFAs who cry in workshop and write normal novels about Jewish life, fastidiously hoping their alma mater destroys the University of Toledo on the football field?
OG: No.

With the band going through some geophysical recalibration, would you call the sessions an accurate capture of "some very heady times"?
PB: Yes.

Neither of you both sing and play guitar on any WMC tracks. Is this an informal collaborative ruleset?
PB: No.

Were the recording sessions aimlessly executed, some to the point of no recall?
OG: Yes.
PB [with slight emphasis]: Yes.

Does it rock out straight through from start to finish?
OG: No.

Upon its release will "decibels across the moors" be heard?
PB: Yes.

Is the pre-master on a USPS truck in middle Massachusetts?
OG: Yes.
PB: No comment.

Is this interview over?
PB [to waitress]: Another round!
OG [to stage]: Wet knockers!